Set Out Before Me A Wolf Girl's Story
by Nayelli Jude
Summary: Dicey Tamari is tough, independant, and comfortable in her own skin, but better known as "Paul's little sister." and she's sick of it. Suddenly she and Seth are trown into a world they thought was only for their siblings, causing heartache, love, and war
1. Wake up in the morning feeling annoyed

**I had another version of this story but to be honest it sucked. Haha so I recreated it with the help of my beta, and muse s. f. james! I hope everyone likes it (and reviews of course) I do not own anything(: this takes place between New Moon and Eclipse, Seth has phased THANK YOU S F JAMES FOR HELPING ME AND MAKING THIS POSSIBLE,(:**

"_Another day is going by_

_I'm thinking about you all the time_

_But you're out there,_

_And I'm here waiting!" _

I bellowed at the top of my lungs and pranced around. Now, before you ask, yes, I am one of those girls who dances around in her underwear and a tank top, singing into a hairbrush. And before you ask, yes, I was doing exactly that to a Simple Plan song, when Seth bursted into my room at eight in the morning, When he saw what I was doing he paused...and then burst into a fit of laughter.

"My God, Dicey! Don't quit your day job!" he managed to get out between his guffaws. "Shut up!" I snapped playfully and then my pillow went airborne at his head. "Now get out, I've gotta get dressed." I laughed.

"Yeah, I noticed" he replied, pointedly looking at my legs before leaving the room.

From downstairs I heard Paul growl out a warning and then the sounds of a head being thoroughly hit followed quickly after. An exclamation of pain echoed after it and I grinned before placing my hairbrush down. Sometimes, having a protective big brother with wolf-y hearing had its perks.

I heard Paul mutter a little to loudly, something along the lines of "too early," and maybe throw a little bit of "smartass" into the cocktail. Damn strait it was to early, eight o' clock is just repulsive, I shuddered at the thought because this was our 'first day of school delay'; we were slacking now, but after today our wake up call time was six. Ugh. School.

Since I'd already showered and brushed my teeth all I had to do was get dressed. Thankfully, my hair had already dried straight and I didn't have to do anything with it. It didn't take me long while searching through my closet to realize that the big guy upstairs must hate La Push. I mean seriously, it was probably 67 degrees outside but, of course, it just _had _to be raining. Finally though, I decided on a pair of white jean cutoff shorts and my black and white fox racing hoodie, eventually adding my checkered Vans to the outfit. Taking a look in the mirror I saw the same thing I saw everyday and groaned. Pin straight, flat, chocolate brown hair that had been naturally highlighted by the sun, skin that was tan but not completely russet and, of course, eyes as green as the thick trees in the forest surrounding our middle of nowhere town.

I had always known that I wasn't completely Quileute; that, in reality, Paul and I were only half siblings. But after my parents had left for good, Seth and I used that ten extra bucks I'd saved up and got my birth certificate shipped to us. Turns out I was right. Who knew who my real father was.

I can't remember much of that night, the one where my parents just disappeared, leaving nothing but a note for Paul and I. Basically, all I remember was being so scared because Paul was having some sort of break down. He started shaking really bad and then the next thing I knew, Sam Ulley was suddenly in my house and I was living with Seth and Leah for the next two weeks.

Those had probably been the best two weeks of my life. Sue was always nice and even though Leah was angry most of the time, she was like an older sister to me. In fact, if it wasn't for her, I would probably think I was a boy. But the best part—even better than the fact that I was allowed to miss school until Paul came home—was the fact that I got to stay with Seth 24/7.

We slept on his old futon, snuggled together, and whispered and laughed as if we were little kids again. We'd watched movies and thrown popcorn at each other; he found a tiny spot in the woods that we claimed as ours, and ended up camping at for two days until Harry picked us both up and carried us home.

Home. That word _always_ makes me think of Seth.

"DICEY, if you're eating then get down here! The other boys are coming and I wont fight them off; those bastards tag team!" Paul yelled from downstairs, breaking me from my reverie.

Chuckling, I trudged downstairs and found Jared, his girlfriend Kim and Seth all sitting at the kitchen table. Paul was standing by the sink with a bowl of my Lucky Charms in one hand and a carton of milk in the other. But of course, he hadn't bothered to put them together, that would have been a nice thing to do, oh no, he got one look at my shorts and there went the milk, running down his arm and onto the counter. _Guess I'm eating it dry,_ I thought almost ruefully, but taking one look at my favorite shorts and I just rolled my eyes. Paul could get over it.

"No, no, no. Go change. _Now_." He stared down where he thought more fabric should be, but only saw my bare thighs.

"Chillax bro, I look fine." I rolled my eyes and poured the cereal in my mouth..sans spoon...and milk.

"Yeah, I think she looks great." a voice added and I turned to see Collin leaning against the entryway.

sThe cereal came out of my mouth as soon as the glares came out on Seth and Paul's faces. Obviously, Collin didn't see the perturbed looks they were both giving him. Either that or he had decided ignore them. Sometimes though, ignoring them isn't the smartest move. Judging by the fact that Seth decided to grab an orange off the counter and chuck it at his head. Collin ducked just in time and the fruit splattered against the wall.

"Where are the others?" I asked before Seth could throw anything else.

As soon as the words had left my mouth, Hillary and Embry came in with Jake, Quil and Leah trailing behind them.

"We're missing Collin's other half and Maria." Leah informed us as she absently surveyed her nails.

Even though I should've known better than to ask where they were, I did anyways. Hey, it was early and I wasn't thinking straight, you can't blame me.

"Go ahead and go out there if you want to see that," Hillary wrinkled her nose. Jake rolled his eyes in irritated agreement while Leah laughed and nudged him in the ribs, giving him a cheeky smile.

"I wouldn't be talking Jacob, he's getting more action than you or Quil." I spoke up, smirking.

Leah hooted happily and reached around Seth to give me a high-five. Jake and Quil however, were not impressed. Not in the least. If looks could kill, I would've been one dead chick by the way the aforementioned guys were glaring at me.

"Seriously, Dice, did you really have to go there?" Quil asked, more upset than anything.

"Yeah," Jake agreed "That is not our fault. That comment was below the belt, Dice."

Quil mumbled something about having to go use the bathroom, which left Jake pouting by himself and Leah eating up every ounce of someone else being picked on for their love life for once.

"You guys ready to go?" Jared asked, turning away from Kim.

Since he had his license, he was the one we made drive us all to school. It probably helped that he had a huge van that could actually fit everyone in it. A chorus of "yeahs" answered his question but before I could say it, Seth pulled on my arm and got up.

"Dice and I are going to walk, okay?" he told them, suddenly serious.

I looked out the window and saw that it was still raining. I snorted and shook my head. Was he crazy? "Speak for yourself, best friend. I ain't going out in that."

I started for the door and had almost made it when his hand curled back around my wrist, dragging me to a stop. Grunting, I turned around to face him, cocking one hip and raising an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked annoyed that I didn't know why he was acting this way.

He said nothing and instead, blushed a nice shade of red. He kept a firm hold on my arm until we heard the sound of the van's motor start up. I gritted my teeth and narrowed my eyes at my so called 'best friend'. He was _so_ going to pay for this.

"Don't worry about it," he said once the van's noises had faded away. "Let's go." I let out an all-suffering sigh but nodded. After grabbing my raincoat and backpack, the two of us headed for the front door. Guess I was walking to school. Happy First Day to me.


	2. It wont be long, yeah

**Chapter two of the new and improved "Set Out Before Me," hope you all enjoy, and please please please leave reviews it takes only five seconds of your time. Plus what goes around comes around, you review me I will see it and review you! I don't own anything(: THANKS AGAIN TO MY AWESOME BETA! (: GO LOOK HER UP, HER STORIES ARE AWESOME! (nag at her to finish Wild Child while you're at it(; )**

"So, why did you wanna walk?" I asked once we were far enough down the street.

I was soaking, my clothes were drenched and I was cold to the bone but I wasn't going to let him know that. I would survive anyway. I was more curious as to what was going on with him that had him acting serious all of a sudden.

"Come on," Seth grabbed my wrist and pulled me off the smallish dirt road just before the others drove by in Jared's van.

As soon as I started to get kind of used to the chill in the air, the guys' van drove by, splashing me with fresh puddle water, wet and cold. I could see The older guys staring at Seth as if waiting for something, their eyes never leaving him until they passed. I saw Paul shaking slightly and Jared trying to calm him down. I wondered what that was about. Seth put his arms around me to keep the chill from biting, I snuggled into him taking in all of his wolf-y warmness. I definitely wasn't complaining.

I turned back to Seth and started to ask where we were going but paused after opening my mouth. Of course I knew where we were going. Duh.

"So, we're skipping today, huh? Cool." I looked up at him with a knowing grin but it faded when he just smiled slightly and made no reply. I paused for a moment and then continued to talk,

"Maybe if we wait until later to go home, Paul and Leah will be on patrol; they have it together, right? Or, you know, we could just stay here all da-"

He cut me off. "Dicey, can you just...shut up for a second?"

"Oh, um..okay." I blinked but nodded. And then he started to laugh and I gave him a confused look. "Seth, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't get what's so funny."

I raised my eyebrow to show that I wasn't getting it or, well, I tried to. I'd never been able to do it, no matter how hard I tried. And trust me, I'd tried. Hell, I'd stood in front of a mirror and tried for nearly an hour. But, sadly, I'd had no success. "You," he chortled.

I didn't get it. "What?"

He grinned down at me. "You, you're what's so funny."

"Gee, how nice," I scowled playfully. "I think I liked it better before I was the punch line."

"Dice, you are _always _the punch line," he snickered.

Well, gee. He probably thought he was so damn clever. And well, alright, I'll admit it, I laughed. But only a little. We'd reached our special spot in the woods by then and he pulled me down with him onto a fallen log. As was typical for autumn, there were leaves everywhere I looked. I pulled a handful off the ground and piled them into his hair and then I did something really stupid.

I giggled.

He let out a joking, dismayed gasp and pulled my chin up so I would look at him. He always did that when he wanted me to listen to him instead of being a normal person and saying my name. I never did understand but again, I wasn't complaining. It allowed me to stare into those warm chocolate eyes of his. Whoa, there. What was wrong with me? When had I ever thought of Seth in that way. I mean, this is _Seth._ He's not only my _best friend, _but, well, he's pretty much out of my league. Waaay out of my league. I pulled my eyes away from his and blinked a few times to clear my head.

"So…" I started awkwardly. "So…" he echoed.

And then we laughed and laughed some more. And we continued to laugh until that awkward moment was over. When it was though, he became serious again and pushed a hand through his shaggy hair.

"We need to get to school," he sighed, getting himself up off of our log and shaking the leaves out of his hair. "it's the first day, after all. We wouldn't wanna make a bad impression." he winked at me.

As if Seth and I ever made a good impression at school. Lets just say we were more for…debate and hands on learning than we were for the way we were _supposed_ to be taught. And usually, the 'hands on' meant, uh, throwing things. Plus, everyone of our teachers had known us since kindergarten and that was a first impression that could never be changed. But, hey, I digress.

"Now? School?" I said them as if the two words were foreign to me. "But we just got here. I thought we were going to talk?"

"I..we..yeah, um…you coming over tonight?" he hedged.

"Really Seth, that's what you wanted to tell, no, ask me?"

I barely believed that. He could have done it in the nice, warm, _dry_ van. I rolled my eyes.

"To answer your question, yes, I am coming over, just like every other night. Oh, by the way," I added as I got up and dusted off my backside. "I don't believe that's what you wanted to say,"

"Just forget it, alright? That was _definitely_ what I wanted to say. Plus, I just wanted to make you late," he shoved his hands into his pockets and hunched his shoulders.

"You're going to be late too, smart one," I pointed out.

"Yeah, well, Mrs. Jenson loves me," he smiled my favorite goofy grin and everything before was forgotten. At least until I was alone and could dwell on it in the privacy of my room.

But right then we laughed about the crazy, dinosaur secretary who had a crush on all the guys in the La Push "Gang". I had a feeling—a disgusted one, at that—that she was really into that whole cougar thing. Ugh. I didn't even want to entertain that thought. Although now that's all I would think of whenever I saw her. Great.


	3. Hit me with your best shot

Another chapter guys! (: once again if you like it review and remember that its only good because s. f james and I make a good team ha (: I don't own anything

I tried to keep my mind focused on the boards, and teachers, and lessons when I finally arrived at school but, uh, it didn't really work. Seth, who was usually in three of my morning classes, told me he had some "business to discuss" with some of the other guys and "no, I couldn't come" so I was alone all morning.

Er, anyway, what was I saying about focusing? Oh yeah, not so much. The whole time I felt like I was missing out something. Something that all of the guys knew, something that even their _imprints_ knew. But not me, and to tell the truth, that pissed me off. What pissed me off even more? It was about me.

I didn't know what it was about exactly, but I knew it was about me. The geniuses weren't so good at keeping things on the down low. Ironic isn't it, the guys with the biggest secret in probably the state of Washington, had obviously never heard of a poker face. Every time I walked by them it either got quiet or awkward. The boys all started giving me these looks when they saw me as if I was something they needed to keep an eye on. Every time someone would say something it would either be associated with Paul, or Seth. And I didn't understand. And that my friends, made me more livid than either of the afore mentioned 'situations.'

When I walked into the Caf at lunch that day, I realized that our table was already full. Slowly traipsing my way along to my seat after I got my food, I noticed something was different...not wrong, per say, but different. Before I could get over there and ask about it, I was distracted for a brief second by Jonathan Mills.

"Hey Dicey, looking good." he grinned.

I paused briefly and gave him an 'are you serious' look. His grin morphed into a smirk which I promptly ignored as I turned my back on him and walked away. He said something to my retreating form that I didn't bother to hear as I reached the table.

"Hey, boys," I chirped, pulling my hair over to one side of my shoulder so the breeze from our table-side window brushed against my neck, cooling it from the uncomfortable humidity of the small school. If it hadn't been for the freshly manicured hand that brushed my leg as I moved closer to my seat, I would've never even noticed the "difference" at our table. I glanced down, startled, and found myself staring into the dark black eyes of QTS' resident Queen Bee.

"Oh, Cassia," I paused, lips curling slightly with distaste. "Sorry, I didn't see you there."

Her lips curled into an amused smirk and she raised her hand to give a little finger wave at me. She then proceeded to toss her glossy, dark hair over her shoulder. I gritted my teeth together to resist the urge of pulling on those perfect locks.

What the hell was she doing in my seat?

I could feel the tension in the air when she sneered at me, "Of course you didn't, you were staring at your plate as if someone was going to take it away from you," she peered onto my tray. "Do you even know how many calories are in that… slop?"

The boys all looked uncomfortable and the girls looked like they weren't sure if they'd heard her right, and to tell the truth I wasn't so sure I'd perceived it correctly either. Um...what?

"Oh, well," she shrugged. "I guess when you're as skinny as you are Rex, you don't need to worry about that kind of stuff." she winked at me and flipped her hair. Again.

Ex_cuse me?_ Had she just said what I'd thought she'd said?

I ground my teeth together and said as calmly as I could as my body started to shake, "Hm, I guess not, but don't worry I'm sure you'll find out just how many calories it is when they put it on your weight watchers menu."

I really hated girls who made fun of peoples weight; who the hell cared if you're fat or skinny? It pissed me off. Cassia was scowling at me now, her manicured hands curled into loose fists on the table top.

"Now," I said a little forcefully, giving her sickly sweet smile. "You're in my seat."

"Your seat?" she scoffed and leaned back even further, her chest jutting out in a ridiculous way.

I felt the tremors that were covering me roll from my hands and forearms up to my shoulders. Who sat like that? She looked completely stupid. The boys, however, didn't seem to mind. Each of them kept shooting what they clearly thought were covert looks at her. I leaned forward and narrowed my eyes at her.

"I didn't stutter" I hissed past my clenched teeth, looking her straight in the eye.

She rolled her eyes and stood up, making no verbal reply. And then she did the one thing that hurt more than any words she could say to me. She took Seth with her. And like the puppy he was, he followed! And the whole time he avoided eye contact with any of us as he left. Cassia sure as hell didn't though. In fact, she made damn sure that I was watching them walk away, throwing me a smug look as she went.

Why did it make me so mad that he left with her? We were only friends, and friends could have as many different friends as they wanted, right? Yeah, that's right. Of course.

The rest of lunch was quiet though since nobody knew what to think of what had just happened. After we left the cafeteria Embry, Brady and Collin caught up with me before we had to go out to the field for gym.

"Hey, Dicey! Wait up!" I heard Embry bellow. "Slow down will ya?"

I slowed down, surprised. I hadn't even noticed I was walking fast until then. Huh. I hadn't realized I'd been that distracted.

"Jeez, someone's on a mission," Embry put his arm around me comfortingly, probably sensing that I wasn't the happiest camper, although I still didn't completely understand why.

"Yeah Dice, what's up with you and Seth?" Brady piped up. "I thought you were gonna rip off Cassia's head, and when he followed her you looked like you were gonna-"

"_Shut up, Brady_!" I screamed, tears forming in my eyes I was so angry.

Embry winced and Collin looked scared, both of them edging away. Brady just stood there seemingly compeletely emotionless. I swear if Maria hadn't been dating him before he phased, I'd think the imprint made her love him. He waited to see if I was going to continue yelling before he spoke again.

"Jesus, Dice, I was just saying-"

"Well quit! Quit 'just saying', Brady!" I snapped. "If Seth wants to go sit with some stuck up bitch princess than so be it. I don't really give a rat's ass!"

"Wow, sounds like somebody's jel-" Collin smacked a hand over Brady's mouth and shoved him into the boys locker room before he could say anything else.

Embry offered a small apologetic smile and put a hand on my shoulder. "It's okay Dice. I know you don't understand what's going on right now but you will. It can only get better from here."

I shrugged him off before running towards the soccer field where half of the class was already lined up. The gym teacher was pacing in front of them, whistle clamped between his teeth as he waited for the rest of class to join in.

How could Brady think I was jealous? And jealous of Cassia, at that? Puh-lease. Jealous of her and all her perfect raven hair, and clear skin, and perfect- _Agh!_ What the hell was wrong with me? I didn't even care so why was I even letting this get to me? What was I even mad about? The fact that she called me Rex? No, that wasn't it. She could think what she wanted so why should I care? Seth? No, we were just friends. Just friends. I bit down on my cheek until I tasted blood.

"Maybe I'm just having an off day," I reassured myself out loud.

Yeah, that was it. "Hey, I could help you get your game back on, if you want." Jonathan Mills came up behind me and smiled suggestively.

Oh, yuck. I knew for a fact that that boy could not be clean; there were only so many people you could sleep with until you caught something. And I had a feeling Jonathan had reached that limit.

"Or you could just go away." I retorted

I wasn't in the mood for him to lay his woman eater eyes on me. No way. Not today. "Ouch, someone's PMSing." he chuckled.

Oh, yeah buddy your real clever. I tried to resist the urge to snort but failed and gave him an unimpressed look.

I said, "I hate to break it to ya, Jon but the reason I find you annoying right now is _not_ because of PMsing and you've gotta learn that girls can be pissed without being on their period, maybe because you act like a grade A dick."

God, he was such a sexist pig! Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Couldn't he see that I wanted nothing to do with him? Or did I need to give him a bigger hint. Clearly, I had to give off bigger hints because it was then that he made his mistake.

"Well, why don't you show me just how powerful women can be, then?" his breath was hot on my ear.

I wasn't just trembling then, in fact, I'm pretty sure that I had put the whole tri-state area on an Earthquake alert. I couldn't see; everything was all red and things were blurring together. My head hurt as if something was pushing out from between my ears, like something trying to break lose. I was so mad that I was growling, my hands clenched into fists so tight my knuckles went white.

"Dicey, you've got to _calm down_!" I think that was Embry

"Grab her! We've gotta get her out of here!" Collin, maybe?

There was a sudden, resounding _crack_ that was able to worm its way into my head followed by the cry of, "_Ow!_ Brady, you son of a bitch!"

Was that Jonathan? I couldn't be sure. It had sounded like him but what had that crack been? Had something broken? Why was he calling Brady that?"

Laughing and gasps of surprise were the last things I heard as I was pulled into the woods outside of our school. I didn't realize that half the gym class was watching as Embry dragged me away. Brady was laughing, I think. Everything was just moving way too fast, in too much of a blur.


	4. wearing nothing but a little smirk

It was as if the world was moving; and I was stopped, not just stopped, cemented in the middle, with forces slamming against me from all different directions. I wanted to scream, to grit my teeth together, I felt like I'd jumped down the rabbit hole, shrinking into nothing and then expanding, my bones were giving a sickening crack and I could hear myself scream from repressed relief.

Things were slowing down, and I was confused, everything was heavy and enhanced, seemingly in more than three dimensions. Then I noticed them.

Wolves. There were wolves.

_You. Have. __**Got**__. To be kidding me._" Those were the first words I said, no

Thought, to Embry after I phased.

"_Sorry, Dice, but...no, no I'm not. You're a wolf, like us."_ Embry replied as if it was supposed to be a good thing.

I saw his wolf-y grin along with Collin, Brady, Jared, Sam, and Quil's. Well, it was nice to know everyone showed up for this little surprise party. Jerks."_Now, now, no need to be sarcastic. __**You're**__ the one who lost control, not us."_ Collin informed me.

Oh, great, I was getting wise words from Collin. Now my life was complete. Not that being a wolf was all bad. I mean, the benefits were nice. I could run super fast, hear really well, heal like Batman, and I _could kill vampires._ Awesome.

"_You're right, it's awesome. Some of the bloodsuckers don't even know what hit 'em!" _Brady cheered, prancing around.

Oh yeah, that's why I didn't want to be a shifter. Everyone could _read my mind! _Ugh. That definitely didn't fall into the 'benefits' areas of being a shifter. In the pros and cons of things, it was totally a con.

"_Brady, not helping! Phase back." _Sam commanded.

Ah, thank you, Sam. I owed you one for that.

"_Actually,"_ Jared started. "_You kind of owe Brady one, too. He punched Mills right in the jaw."_

Well, this was news. Not _bad_ news, of course. In fact, it was quite good news. I'm glad that jackass has been given what was coming for him. It was about time. He couldn't talk to girls like he did. It was sexist and just plain gross.

"_You're welcome, by the way." _Brady snipped cheerfully.

I heard him phase out before I could retort with a sarcastic 'I didn't say thank you'. Not that it would've done anything for my dignity, of course. He had probably felt my appreciation through that stupid, weird 'mind-reading' thing the pack had going on. Speaking of the pack...someone was missing.

"_Leah's working and Paul had to go home. He uh, he heard those comments Jon made and...yeah, he was pissed. So he said to tell you congrats though, it finally happened! And Seth...oh yeah, you probably only meant Seth. Yeah, he's on his way." _Collin told me.

"_Wait, what! Seth's on his way. Why?" _I hissed with surprise.

Panicking was definetly an option now. Didn't he have some preppy little needs to fulfill? I didn't need him there just because I was morphed into a giant wolf. A female giant wolf. He could just say wherever he was, I didn't care at all. In fact I didn't want him here. So he might as well not come.

It was then that I saw five faces of furry disbelief in my vision. Er...damn. I really needed to learn how to keep things to myself. Or stop thinking.

"_Ha, stop thinking? To do that you'd have to be able to think in the first place."_ Quil jeered.

The boys laughed at what Quil said and I could've killed them. Fortunately for them, I had more things to worry about. Like for one, the fact that Seth was coming and two, how to get the hell back into my human body so I could vacate the perimeter before he appeared.

"_Seth is coming because he is a part of this pack and he has more of a role in this than you know," _Sam stated. "_Also you have to be able to calm down first, you know that. You know, as well, that there is no way in hell that is going to happen right now. Or anytime soon for that matter, you don't calm down easily." _

I didn't mean to but a growl slipped out. I mean, what the hell? I could've calmed down anytime I wanted to. Excuse me for having a few things on my mind. Paul wasn't here, Leah—the only one who would understand—wasn't either, Seth was being a douche monkeyeveryone could hear my thoughts, I could hear their thoughts which was even worse, a_nd_ I was four days late on my…ohmyGod.

As soon as I thought the word 'period' two things happened. Four male wolves groaned, Sam being the only one mature enough to contain himself, and realization hit me like a cement block to the face. I was a shape shifter. I wouldn't _have_ a period for any longer! Time to celebrate!

"_**Awesome!**__" _I cheered.

My life just got about ten times better after getting six times worse. No more periods, no more cramps, no more PMS, no more headaches, no more tampons, no more bloody-

"_Dicey__**, stop!**_(please don't use more than one exclamation point)___Please, do not continue that sentence; we are __**begging**__ you!" _Jared moaned.

Well, if I ever wanted them out of my head I knew how to do it. And it would be fun doing it, too! Too bad things couldn't just stay good. I think the world had it out against me. Really, I do.

"_Hey, guys, sorry I'm late. Cassia was- Oh! Hey, Dicey, how are you feeling? Are you okay?" _Seth came trotting into the clearing then.

He looked at me with such concern in his eyes I almost felt like he actually cared. I swear I've never seen him look so...so happy and sad at the same time. There was so much adoration showing through that it made me happy. Until I remembered that it was probably because he had just been with Satan's Slut. Cassia. It was at that thought that all of the guys phased out, probably because everything I had just thought leaked out into their heads as well. Damned werewolf magic.

"_Dicey, is that really how you feel?"_ Seth inquired.

Instead of responding, I focused my concentration towards the trees, thinking of random bits and pieces of the forest. "_Squirrel, bird, nest , nut, leaf, leaf, leaf, rabbit, worm, leaf, leaf, leaf..."_

"_Really, Dicey, are you going to be that way? Ignore me? Give me the silent treatment?"_ Seth almost laughed and I heard the word "childish" slip from is mind.

Fine you wanna see childish buddy? Well then I'll give you childish. "_Well you can't exactly say you're being mature."_

That time he really was laughing. Quite hard, might I add. Well, I'm glad I amused him. At least I was good for something around here.

"_Why are_ _you refusing to tell me what you're so mad about? I know it isn't the Jonathan thing. There's something else that's bugging you. And, well, if youre jealous of Cassia..."_

_Jealous_ of _Cassia?_ Was he an idiot? Why would I be jealous of that whore! There was nothing she had that I needed to be jealous of. He was wrong, wrong, _wrong_. So, I'll admit it, I went ballistic on his scrawny ass.

"_Ha, me, jealous? Of __**that**__ wannabe Barbie? Puh- lease. The hell I am! I know you may think a lot of your new little sleeping buddy but let me tell you something, Seth Clearwater,"_ I spat out his name as if it revolted me, even though as enraged as I was it felt pleasant coming off my tongue. "_If you think for one __**minute**__, no__** one second**__, that I'm jealous of her then you are wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong! The most wrong, incorrect, mistaken, erroneous, flawed, invalid mutt, __**in the history of the Earth!" **_

When I had finished I was mentally panting as if I had really been screaming the words. I wish I had been able to really scream, it would have been more effective. But I'll take what I can get. So take that, Clearwater, I added in my head, defying the urge to stick out my new wolf-y tongue.

"_Oh come on, Dicey. Don't even try that crap, you're practically __**green.**__" _He laughed but I could tell he was getting irritated.

"_Hey, I resent that! I'm..."_ I paused and looked down at my paws to see what color I actually was. "_I'm __**black!**__ Come here Seth, let me look at my reflection in your eyes. Am I black all over or do I have spots or...?" _Seth rolled his eyes at me but obeyed my demand and let me peek at my reflection. Too bad that looking into his eyes and seeing myself wasn't possible. I could only see him. Well, I _was_ a smart one, wasn't I? Jeez.

"_Ugh!" _I grunted.

He had obviously heard my thoughts because he was now exasperated. "_You've got to quit doing this, Dicey! __**What do you want from me?**__"_

"_Want from you? What the hell? I'm pretty sure that I've been perfectly _

_clear what I want,"_ Lie. I didn't even _know _what I wanted. It was quite a good question actually. "_You're the one who isn't being clear! What do you mean 'want'? Want what? Ugh, what is this even about?" _

He stood there staring at me coldly for a few seconds before the iciness turned to hurt. He shook his head and sighed. "_Really, Dice? Cause everyone else seems to have figured it out. In fact, I've been thinking it ever since I phased but you've just ignored it because all you're doing is concentrating on yourself. When you figure out what it is __**you**__ want and what it is that I've been practically shoving in your face for the last half a year, then get back to me. I'll wait for you, Dicey Tamari. I'll always wait for you, but I just can't take it right now. Figure it out yourself and then," _he sighed. "_And __**then**__ get back to me."_

And just like that he was gone, phased back to his human form while I was stuck alone. Alone to contemplate what was wrong with me, why I had to hurt him so much. Why he was even hurt, as if I was the one not making any sense. And while I laid there for the next however many hours, until Paul came and picked me up from the forest floor, where I had sometime phased back, naked and damp, I did something I hadn't done in almost a year and a half.

I cried.


	5. The same tricks that once fooled me

The worst part of waking up in the morning after a fit of dreamless sleep, is the illusion.

The illusion that nothing is wrong, and for a moment, nothing really is. The light dances across your closed eyelids begging you to open them and start your day, and for then that's your biggest concern, staying hear birds, or rain, maybe you smell something that makes you smile, completely at peace. And then, it all comes crashing down. Hard.

You remember the hurt, and the agony, the exceeding pain. A pain that wont go away, and you cant even force it to, because its not exactly you're pain. Well, not at first.

That's exactly how I felt the day after I phased, after Seth's speech, after my emotional breakdown.

I woke up happy, I'd had exactly enough sleep, I guess I didn't worry because I assumed it was still summer, all the bad events of the day before still forgotten. I was there just so innocently waiting for Seth to come and burst through my door like he had so many times before and then it hit me. Seth wasn't coming back. I was alone. I was a wolf. And, oh yeah, I was late for school.

It was ten o'clock, when I pulled myself out the door, complete with my ensemble of frizzy bed hair, smeared makeup, sweats pushed up to my knees and an old flannel shirt of Paul's over the wife beater someone had put me in after putting me in my bed last night, I vaguely remember seeing Kim's face.

I guess I should've been thankful that it wasn't raining but I wasn't grateful for anything. Too bad I didn't know then that I wasn't even half as messed up as I would be later that night and entering weeks to come. The only thing I had a problem with now was that Seth was gone, and by the look that haunted me, replaying over and over again in my head, he wasn't coming back. Not until I decided what I wanted.

How could I possibly know that. I didn't know what he wanted, I didn't know what he was trying to tell me, and everyone else did. I didn't understand any of this and it pushed him away. My best friend, that's what Seth was. He was there for me every single day. Every day I got to see his happy smiling face, taking everything so lightly.

And while I walked to school I remembered him, trying to decode this mess that I'd gotten myself into. I didn't even know the cause of his misery, and that inflicted a greater throbbing of pain than almost anything else had in my life.

I remembered our first day of kindergarten, when we _really_ became best friends, Jared was picking on Seth for playing with a Batman action figure. Jared not only took the toy and threw it across the playground but then when poor little Seth started to cry, he kept pushing him and calling him names, immature ones that we'd laugh at now but it was a big deal then. I went right up to Jared and punched him in the nose, he pushed me down and I broke my arm.

He showed up to school the next day with not only a swollen nose but a fat lip too, complaining that Seth had to have his big sister fight for him. That was also the day I decided that I wanted to be _exactly_ like Leah Clearwater.

I remembered the time in third grade when we discovered the creek behind his house, I fell off a log and he saved me from "drowning" in the water that was only probably up to our ankles. Then he promised not to tell anyone that I was a temporary damsel in distress, though those weren't his exact words.

I remembered when I everyone forgot my eleventh birthday because Paul's psycho girlfriend was telling everyone she was pregnant, even though she wasn't. So Seth took me out of the house and paid for my birthday supper complete with Little Debbie cupcakes and Doritos from Mrs. Call's store.

He did it for me with every penny he earned for mowing the lawn.

I remembered when he turned thirteen and almost got caught drinking something Brady had conjured up from some high-schoolers, and I hid him in my closet when the police came due to reports of loud noise in a suspicious area of town.

And I remembered and reminisced and continued to do so until I saw the wooden doors that led into the hallway near my locker. I could feel the breeze from the swinging door cool against my face, drying tears that I didn't know I'd cried, how much I hated doing that.

Stepping up to the locker I shared with Seth I hadn't expected him to be standing there, I hadn't expected _her_ to be there either.

"What do you think you're doing?" Cassia asked in the snottiest tone I'm sure she could manage when she saw me stopped in front of her in an almost threatening way.

"Well," I said. "right now I'm wasting my breath and practically feeling my brain cells deplete by talking to you. You're in my way. Move."

I put on a smart-ass front that only lasted about ten seconds longer. I felt a pull that wanted to turn me around, so strong, that I actually did stumble backwards a little bit. I turned around and there he was.

Seth.

Beautiful Seth.

My Seth. My Seth?

I hadn't expected to fall in love with Seth Clearwater. And I sure as hell, didn't expect to imprint on him. But I did.

And there he was. His russet skin was blotchy and I could instantly see he hadn't slept. His eyebrows were creased together and his soft shaggy hair was tangled and matted. His usually chocolate eyes almost black and once again, I could see all the resentment and damage in them. If I could've looked away I would.

"Dicey," he sighed. "not today."

I wondered if he established that I had imprinted on him, that he was my soul mate. Only then I heard his words and an almost fury overtook me. _Not today?_ He was acting as if I was causing problems but _she_ was at _my_ locker. Getting snotty with _me_, when _I _sure as hell didn't do anything. Well I did, but she'd started it now.

"Well, when's convenient for you, Seth? Cause as long as things go your way you don't seem to have a problem with it." I replied putting on an even front, getting ready to grind my teeth.

How dare him act like I put him out so much, when he didn't even give me a damned reason. Surely if he had been thinking it the whole time I would've noticed. I'm not that self indulged. Right?

"Convenient for me? You act like you're so innocent, like all the time its you who's the victim. Poor pitiful Dicey," he was shaking his head and I could feel shaking in my arms. I wasn't like that. No, not me. I couldn't be.

"You know I'm not like that!" I spat angrily "you know that I'm just as hurt as you are by this and just as mad, don't act like you didn't even have any part in this cause listen here buddy I'll tell you what part you played, as if you didn't know that I would im-"

I was cut off by Cassia when, for once, it was a good thing she opened that ugly little mouth of hers. Not that I liked what came out but it stopped me from what I'd been about to say.

"Come on, Sethy. We don't have to listen to..." she gave me a once over. "_this._"

She dragged him away and sneered at me while she did. And then I saw her stop and pull him into a kiss. He looked just as startled as me, but definitely not as repulsed and went along and let her kiss him like she owned him. When he wasn't even hers _to _own.

"Okay, Sethy" I picked up the little demon's nickname for Clearwater. "If it's a war you want, then it's a war you'll damn well get. Game on."And with that I sneered while turning on my heels to exit the hallway.


	6. its a circle, a mean cycle

If I was to list the things that had happened that morning, I thought it couldn't get any worse; couldn't get any worse than imprinting on my best friend. Or…ex best friend. The guy who I couldn't stop hurting. The guy who couldn't stop hurting me. As if he was always so innocent. It couldn't get any worse than having to listen to Cassia talk and take away ten seconds of my life that I would never get back. It couldn't get any worse than seeing the dumb broad kiss Seth...couldn't get any worse than declaring a full out war with him. Well, if I was to list all of those things and think they couldn't get any worse, then I was wrong. I was so, so wrong.

What was even more infuriating than that is walking into your classroom and seeing only two emotions on the faces of your best friends: pity and disappointment. In the same way as if I was the one at a complete fault. Well, guess what people, it takes two to tango.

I walked into my first second study hall of the day, the one right before lunch and sat down next to Collin and Brady, dreading the second that Seth would walk into the room. Luckily Cassia didn't have this class, thank God.

"Yo, Dicey," Brady flipped his hair out of his eyes and grinned.

My first thought was, _crap, this ought to be good_. And my second was, _Brady is going to die a painful, __**painful**__ death if I can help it._

"I heard you im-"

_THWAP! _Brady grunted and stopped mid-sentence. Bemused, I turned to see Collin grinning brightly at me and his twin brother holding the back of his head. Said twin gave his other have a baleful glare, pouting.

"Dude, I wasn't going to say the whole word."

Collin just shrugged, smirking and winked at me. I gave him a grateful look as I sat down. Thank you, Collin. I really didn't need the whole damn world knowing what had happened. It was bad enough that they knew.

"Anyway," Brady gave a pointed look at his brother. "as I was saying, I heard you, ya know, _fell for Seth."_

It was like everything else in the room stopped and went silent except for my heartbeat which was much too loud in my ears, like it was taunting me. When I found out how they knew that, I was going to go ape-shit. And if a person was behind it, that person would not live for much longer.

"What? No." I shook my head, giving him a look that stated I thought he was crazy. "What gave you that idea?"

_Play it cool,_ I told myself firmly, _I can fake my way out of this. _The twins looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Brady started to continue but I had the satisfaction of crushing his foot as soon as Seth popped into the room, hesitantly walking towards us, to where his desk sat. Brady let out a grunt and doubled over, wincing.

"_Later."_ Brady hissed, trying to hide his pain.

I just flashed him an innocent smile—who, me? I was an angel—and turned towards Seth who had come to a stop a few inches away from us. His dark gaze flickered between us, eyebrows rising when he caught sight of a still-whimpering Brady.

"Oh, hey Seth, didn't notice you there," I chirped cheerfully. "Ha, well, looks like it's time for me to go. See you later, boys."

With that I gracefully got up and started to walk away. _Started_ being the operative word. I stopped at some random jock's desk on my way out, not even caring to remember his name and winked at him, lightly putting my hand on his forearm. I heard one growl and a chuckle and it wasn't all that hard to tell who what came from.

I smirked; mission accomplished. Well, for then anyways. Too bad the Fates don't like giving me a good hand of life cards, ergo the rest of that study hall I didn't have anywhere to go so I chilled out in the bathroom staring at the wall wondering if there was any ways to avoid being on patrol with Seth later that night. And how, you know, to avoid him now. But I couldn't do that because that would be like backing down, like running away.

And Dicey Tamari did _not_ run away. Not now, not ever.

By the time the bell rang I had already left the stall and made it into the courtyard to look for the girls; Kim, Hillary and Maria. I assumed that I'd just meet them early instead of waiting until we got to the table to chat. Yeah, girl bonding. That's just what I needed.

Whoop.

As soon as I saw their faces I was relieved. I could tell that they weren't going to ask a million questions. Maria looked knowing and just shook her head at me, a sure sign that we might talk later if her tongue wasn't down Brady's throat. Kim looked as if she wasn't being judgmental which was typical Kim. And well, Hillary looked like she couldn't care less which, in truth, she probably didn't.

"Hey, guys." I smiled slightly and adjusted the strap of my canvas messenger bag, fidgeting around before stopping at our table.

The guys surprisingly weren't here yet, which was a bit of a plus. I looked around to see all of them and I mean all of them—Paul, Jared, Embry, Quil, Jacob, Brady, Collin and Seth—heading from the building over to where we usually sat. I just assumed they'd had some kind of meeting or something along those lines. I turned quickly back to the girls."Guys, why don't we just sit somewhere else, you know, girls lunch, whoooo." I blurted out.

They all just looked at me with surprise. I don't know if it was from me sounding nervous or due to the fact that I wanted a "girls lunch". But whatever it was, I really wanted them to make a quick decision. Hillary, to my surprise, was the one who answered. Shrugging her shoulders she just said, "Sure why not," and headed over to an empty table by a tree, shady and comfortable. Odd.

"I-I-I'll just go tell the boys." Kim stuttered, as confused as I was.

Hil was shy and she usually didn't talk much and when she did she was always with Embry. So the fact that she was taking charge and leaving him bamboozled us all. Except for Maria. She was still smirking, all knowing. And quiet. Always quiet. I was too focused on other things to care about any of that at the time even though I probably should have. My mind was on other things.

We'd gone about ten minutes into our lunch and I was starting to calm down, laughing and joking and eating with my three best girlfriends. It was surprisingly comforting and I had started to think that maybe it was what I needed. Until _she _showed up. You know, Lucifer and Nanny McPhee's love child. Cassia. Ugh.

"Hey girlie-girls! Having a little female fun are we?" she simpered. "Well, I noticed and decided that none of you would mind me joining you, since I'm Sethy's girlfriend, after all. I'm technically part of you're little pack now."

I almost laughed at the irony of her words but then she started talking again and all thoughts of laughter fled from my mind. They were quickly replaced with more homicidal thoughts, most of which involved Cassie taking a head-dive off a cliff. And I don't mean for recreation.

"Well, Hillary, Maria and Kim, _your_ guys' group, I mean," Cassia corrected herself with a giggle. "We're all the girlfriends. Dicey, well, we all know that she's only here by default, you know, guilty by association. As Paul's little sister she's probably just always been here, like that annoying little cousin."

Kim started looking scared and Hillary spat iced tea out of her nose and started looking incredulous and defensive. Maria looked a little peeved but just sat there as if she was waiting for something to happen. Well, that's what it all looked like but I couldn't tell completely since I was seeing red.

"Listen here, pixie stick," I leaned over the table and got in Cassia's face, speaking low and threateningly, not bothering to hide the growl in my voice. "I don't know who you think you're talking to but you better figure it out real quick because I am _not _one to mess with right now. And if you think that you can just bring your wanna-be little ass over here and start dogging on me, then you better think again. Do I make myself clear?"I looked into her eyes hard, challenging her once again to actually disagree with me. When it seemed like she wouldn't say anything, I continued, "If I was you, I'd watch my back."

And just when you thought someone couldn't get any more stupid, the universe continues to surprise you. Cassia rose up and tried to match my height, getting in _my _face. I wrinkled my nose at the close proximity and tried not to gag on the overwhelming stench of her perfume.

"It's fine, thanks." she drawled.

So I started laughing; laughing at the patheticness of the situation, laughing at the fact that I knew I was getting ready to do something that would end badly. For one of us, anyway. Whether it would be a fail for me or something that completely humiliated her, I was going to do something drastic. Luckily it was the latter that happened.

I stepped up on the table, ignoring the wide-eyed look that Paul and Kim were giving me. I cleared my throat as if I was going to make an announcement, smirking down into the confused face of the Queen Bee wannabe.

"Excuse me, everyone, excuse me! Can I get your attention for just a second?" I yelled through my cupped hands and smiled when the noise died down."Thanks. Nowm everyone here knows Cassia, right? In case you don't allow me to introduce her, For those of you who haven't had the great pleasure...this is Cassia. Cassia, this is everyone."

Said _pleasure_ was looking like she wanted to barf and I felt a thrill of glee spike through me. Oh, yeah. Come and get it, bitch. It was about time someone knocked her down a notch or two. And I was more that glad to be that person.

"You're probably wondering what I'm doing and why it matters that you all know Queen Bitch, right?" I continued. "Yeah, well here it is. Cassia and I are going to, hmmm, how can I put it...we're going to be 'best friends' now," I made air-quotes. "and I wanted to show you just how much we know about each other."

I grabbed her hand and yanked her with unessecary force onto the top of the table with me and squeezed her shoulder. And then winked at Seth who was looking almost livid at my display. Wow, two birds with one stone. Man, was I good or _what?_

"Okie dokie then," I sanded my hands together. "First, her favorite color is pink; her hobbies include driving around in her 'plush pink' Barbie car, and when she grows up she wants to sprout fur and become a werewolf." I added, thinking back to her earlier comment about being _one of us_. "She even just told me she wanted to be apart of a pack, didn't she girls?"

I nodded down to my three friends, who all shook their heads in agreement catching on quickly to what I was doing. God, this felt good. I really should have considered doing this earlier.

"But everyone," I added, sounding suddenly somber. "There's something else you don't know. See, she is a little...well, slow, so why don't we all put our hands together and clap for La Push's future wolf girl."

I faked tears of happiness and started in on a clap that everyone joined in on and I even heard some chuckles and whistles. Cassia looked positively green. And as far as dramatic exits go, I've always been one for them so I sauntered out of the cafeteria just in time to hear her burst into a round of embarrassed sobs.

"_Ms Tamari! Where in the world do you think you are going!_" I heard our vice-principal yell.

With out looking back over at them, I tossed over my shoulder with a chuckle, "To hell, probably."


	7. I must confess, i feel like a monster

Hey guys! I own nothing, and my awesome Beta is to thank for if you guys like this, hit her up.(: s. f. james J

I could hear the vice principal and various other staff's threats as I continued to make my way through and off of the school's property, headed towards the only place I wanted to be anyways. The woods.

I made my way to our spot. Seth's and mine. I flung my bag towards the grown and screamed in frustration, then continued to kick the stupid log that's been there for as long as we have, shouldn't it have died already?

"Why," I kicked the log, "can't," another kick, "he," kick, "just" kick, "understand?" Kick. Kick. Kick. "_Augh!_"

I yelled out in a fury until I collapsed, breathless and tired. Shaking my head, I laughed again at the events of today, and even though I was proud of my little show in the cafeteria, it made me even more disturbed because I knew there would be many more things like that to come. This was a war.

One that he wanted. And what Prince 'Sethy' wants Prince '_Sethy'_ gets. By then I was shaking so I stripped down and let the anger envelop me, feeling myself fall into a deep void, causing me to become lightheaded for just a second.

When I opened my eyes, I was grinning in satisfaction. My feet had turned to paws and I was running faster than I had ever before. Almost like an escape. And my God it was nice.

"_Tell me about it, kid,"_ came Leah's voice from inside my , at least it was her and not another of the pack. _That_ wouldn't have done me any good and it would've taken away the last sanctuary I had.

"_Yeah, nice to see you, too,"_ she scoffed.

Ah damn. I'd better get used to that annoying mind-reading thing we all had going on. I sighed, "_Hey, Leah."_

"_Shouldn't you be in school? You know, in class rather than trying to kill that poor innocent log that just sat there and took your rant?"_ she questioned, bemusement tinting her voice.

Oh. That. I quickly replayed the affairs of earlier and she was laughing by the time I was done, her wolf-y self wheezing as we stopped.

"_And I thought__** I**__ was a bitch! Damn, you might actually give me a run for my money. Ha, nice."_ she nudged my shoulder but then her eyes turned cloudy as she realized why I'd done the things I'd done.

"_You...you imprinted. You mean you really…"_ Leah trailed off and what I saw made it so that I couldn't blame her for not thinking about the problem here.

She was biased anyway and I'd rather be left alone when it came to this little...predicament, but I was just myself seeing why she was so incredulous. She could imprint, too. It was possible. I smiled slightly at her.

"_Wow, Leah. I'm happy for you,"_ I said._ "I mean this is...that's great. Really."_

She was so lost in thought that she hadn't bothered to hear me and suddenly images leaked into my head and I couldn't tell what was right in front of me and what was in my head. Images of her and Sam, her and Emily, of her before things changed. Before imprinting ruined her life. Then of his face when he looked at Emily's compared to the one he used to give her, like comparing a dull, used bulb to one of those bright fluorescent energy saving ones.

"_I have to go. I have to tell...wait, do they know?"_ she stopped abruptly thinking about those things.

Like a rubber band stretched to its end, they snapped out of my mind, out of my memory. I blinked, suddenly back in the present and I shrugged as best I could. She eyed me for a moment before huffing slightly.

"_Okay…"_ and then she was gone, just like that.

I figured I'd better change back and get home. It hadn't been long but I could guarantee that at least one or two of the guys would be waiting for me at the house. So with that in mind, I changed back and grudgingly made my way back.

**...**

I stomped into the kitchen and threw down my stuff, ready to trudge up the stairs. I had almost made it too but then a loud yell from right behind me made me stop, wincing at the volume.

"Dicey Tamari, you get your scrawny ass in here right this instant!"

Ah, wonderful. Big brother Paul. This sounded like it was going to be fun times. Note the heavy sarcasm.

"Aye aye, captain," I mock saluted while turning around.

I found Paul standing at the base of the stairs the tremors in his arms deepening at my snark and a low growl met my ears. Paul glared at me and then jerked his chin in a gesture that clearly stated, follow me. Sulking slightly, I went after him as he led me to the kitchen. When I entered, the first thing I noticed was that there were several other people crowding the space. Oh, goodie. The whole pack was here! Great.

"Uh-oh," Collin snickered. "Looks like somebody's gonna get grounded."

"Or a spanking," Brady added thoughtfully, a devilish smile on his face.

"Nah, Seth isn't here," Quil said from behind me. "Besides, he has a girlfriend now."

I whipped around at the last comment and lunged for Quil's throat. That had been low, even for him. The bastard. Next thing I knew, I was punching and strangling him while he ran in circles and tried to slam me into the wall but there was no way I was letting go.

"You take that back you worthless piece of shit!" I snarled in his ear. "I swear, you better phase now so I can tear into your ass with out actually fucking killing you!"

Somehow, I had gotten a hold of his hair and had started jerking his head back. He twisted beneath me, a growl building from deep within his chest. There was no way I was letting go of him until he took it back. And I could hold on for a long time.

"You crazy bitch!" he yelled furiously. "Get the hell off of me! You deserve—_ow_—you deserve it after those comments you thought were so funny!"

"Take it back!" I roared. "_Now!_"

"_**Everyone, stop!**_" a voice like thunder bellowed.

And instantly I was frozen. I dropped off of Quil quicker than I'd ever thought I could move. Completely against my will, of course, thanks to Sam and his God damn gag orders. I clenched and unclenched my hands at my side as I stared at our alpha in all his angry glory.

"_**What is going on here?**_" he barked.

It may have been meant as a question but it was more like an order. And it was one who really couldn't refuse.

"Sam," Emily came up behind him into our house, gently touching his shoulder, "you can stop talking like that, they're done."

You could tell that despite her softness she was serious. She had always hated the way he had to command us around sometimes. Emily was like that; never wanted to see someone have to do something against their will. It was a good trait to have, I guess. Peace, Love, and Daisies.

Of course, that was kind of a hard lifestyle to follow when you're with a werewolf.

"I will not have members of my pack trying to decapitate each other," Sam growled. "So I'll ask again before I let you go, before I can trust you to keep control of your goddamn emotions. _What is going on here?_"

I looked at Quil, daring him to open his mouth. Jacob and Embry stood beside him giving weary glances between us. They realized along with Paul and Jared that they weren't being spoken too. It was just Quil and I under orders.

"Alright, nobody wants to talk? Fine." he narrowed his eyes. I'll start with what I know."

I had no idea why Sam was so pissed. It wasn't as if there hadn't been brawls before between everyone in the pack. He was taking this far too seriously.

"I know that you, Dicey, not only ditched the last part of school—which, by the way, had you stayed long enough you would've realized that you've been suspended—you ditched study hall, almost broke some girls wrist, Seth's girlfriend none the less—" I choked down a cringe at the word _girlfriend_ but Sam continued like he hadn't seen. "—and you imprinted."

The gasps that echoed around the room made it sound like nobody knew. As if. I knew that at least half or more of them knew I had so I didn't see why they were all being such drama queens. I crossed my arms over my chest and gave Sam a cool look.

"Yeah, what of it?" my voice was hoarse from all the yelling and I tried to maintain what little dignity I had left.

"On Seth." Sam added.

Gee, really? I'd thought I'd imprinted on Brady. I quickly locked that comment away and shrugged instead, trying to play things off as if they weren't that important.

"Whatever," I huffed.

I didn't want to admit it. Not here, and definitely not now in front of everyone. The only people missing from this little get-together were the imprints—aside from Emily—and the duplicates were gone along with Leah and, of course, Seth.

"You don't know that." I added, avoiding his eyes.

I couldn't look at him because if I did, I couldn't even begin to tell you what I might've done, depending on if his eyes held the accusation like I knew they did.

"I understand that now is not the time or place to discuss it," he told me, voice softer now. "but we will discuss it, tonight, at Billy Black's along with discussing other irresponsible acts you've decided to come across with The Elders. Be there at seven-thirty."

And then he left. Emily smiled an apologetic smile before she too left, following along behind him. I knew she agreed with him though. It wasn't that hard to tell. Well, hot dog! It looked like I'd got myself a meeting with the La Push presidents themselves. Oh, how much I really couldn't took us all a minute to unfreeze from Sam's command and when we did I was taken by the arm out the kitchen, into the living room instead. Paul sat me down across from him on the couch. My face, no doubt, was completely emotionless to match his. I had no idea where he was going to go but I had a feeling he didn't either.

"Dice.." he started uncertainly and then enveloped me into a big hug.I started biting my cheek so I wouldn't cry. This was my big brother, this was Paul and it was like old times. He was taking care of me. Despite the stupid things I'd done he was actually putting it behind him for a moment.

"How could you be so stupid?" he asked when he finally released me.

"Huh?" I blinked at him for a moment and then shrugged my shoulders, a habit that was beginning to form, "I don't know."

I avoided his glare, and just like that he pushed me away. He ran a hand over his face. "Go get ready or...something. Just go upstairs and try to figure things out before they get any worse."

And then my hair was being ruffled like I was a little kid. I got to my feet and slowly made my way to my room. I prepared myself for a quick deep slumber, a quick escape before I faced the elders tonight. Faced the elders and everything else I'd been trying not to.


	8. Dont lie to, lie to me now

By the time I'd awoken it was already eight o' one. I put my hand to my forehead and groaned while trying to gather my thoughts of where I was and why I'd been napping. Oh, shit. I remembered the "meeting" and jumped out of bed. I didn't even bother grabbing my shoes when I ran downstairs and out the kitchen door into the rain. Being late for one of these things put you in a _very_ bad position.

I ran past Paul and Jared carrying in logs for what I assumed was our wood stove. Why they'd need it this early I wasn't sure. Sometimes I think they just liked proving how good and tough they were at swinging an ax.

"Dicey, you haven't left yet?" Paul looked incredulous.

I have to admit, I wasn't a enthusiast of the tone taking over his voice at that particular moment. It just said something like 'great, what else could the little screw up do today?'

Yeah, I never really did like that tone.

"No, I just woke up," I said quickly, trying to hurry off before I could hear the sounds of his disappointment leaking into more sentences.

I continued running and heard Jared mutter something about how if I didn't get my act together things were going get ugly.

"I know," was Paul's reply. "I just don't know what to do. I can't even keep up with why the hell she's being like this."

I could hear the disappointment in his tone and the warning in Jared's. But they were right, they knew _nothing_ about the way I was acting or why, so they should just be minding their own business and not trying to understand things. If they were meant to know then they would've been the one in this arrangement, not me. But who was I to talk? Not like I knew much more than they did.

**...**

You could spot the old red siding on Billy and Jake's house from a mile away, not that I lived that far from them, but when I walked, well jogged, up to the door for some reason I thought about how the paint was peeling. Jake should really work on that. Situations like this make you do that, I suppose, think about random, unimportant things.

Inside the tiny living space was Old Quil Ateara, Billy Black, Sue Clearwater, Jacob—who I assumed was just there due to the fact that it was his house—and then Sam and Seth. Every one of them was looking at me like I'd robbed a bank. My God, you'd think I'd walked into death row instead one of the places I'd visited all to often in my childhood.

"Dicey, have a seat." Quil Sr. said calmly.

I was getting pretty sick of hearing my own name but I sat. I'd always thought that Quil Sr. was the nicest of them. He seemed so understanding. Maybe it was because he was the oldest, I don't know, but he seemed pretty compassionate. Not that it was going to help me any this time.

"Do you know why you're here?" he raised a gray eyebrow.

I looked over at where he was in the torn blue recliner he was sitting in. Ha, did I know why I was here? I had a little bit of a clue. I guessed, "Because I tried to kill your grandson?"

"I'd like to hear about that incident, and I'm sure he deserved it, I know these boys" he chuckled but then was serious again. "But, no."

I waited impatiently and with extreme nerves for him to continue but he said nothing and all I could think about was how cruel and all to usual this whole 'you admit your sins' punishment was. Couldn't they just notify _me_ on what they were pissed about?

Billy cleared his throat and shot me daggers. "Its obvious she isn't going to speak up—she's stubborn—so why don't we just get the facts down on the table, eh?"

Well, then. Right down to it, huh Billy? Well, that was alright with me. The quicker we got this over with, the quicker I was outta there. I thought he was done speaking, letting Old Quil pick back up but no, he decided verbalizing his complaints was the path to take. 'Road less traveled' my ass; Robert Frost must be a liar, 'cause Billy voiced his complaints a lot.

"You refused to cooperate when you changed for the first time," he stated. However, let it be known that I didn't remember that. "you left school early, clearly making quite an exit, an exit well enough known to get you _suspended,_" he practically spat the last word out at me.

I was trembling and holding back tears of anger. I didn't understand anything; the boys had gotten suspended plenty of times so what the hell was his problem? This was like some sort of sick double-standard. The guys could get suspended but I couldn't? All of it was a case of hypocrisy. Why should I get different treatment? They weren't exactly the angels sitting on anyone's shoulders.

"Excuse me, Mr. Black," I tried to keep my voice calm. "but I remember getting this lecture from Sam a few hours ago so you can refrain from repeating it now please."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth I regretted them. I respected Billy and even though I was almost beside myself with anger, I had to keep control. Not only was what I said rude, it was going to get me in a shit load of trouble. Everyone's mouths had to have dropped about to their knees, except for Sue who gasped and put her hand over hers and the other hand over her heart.

"Very well, Ms. Tamari, you're right." he conceded coolly. "You've already heard this so why don't you enlighten us on why you're behavior in these matters plus a few more is the way it is, _and_ what you're planning on doing to correct it?"

His dark coal eyes never left mine the whole time he spoke, even though I was looking down to him sitting in his wheelchair. Oh, now I saw what he was getting at. Well, Damn.

The man sure knew how to back someone into a corner.

"I heard the lecture," I started slowly. "and I catch sight of your opinion but I what I don't see is how the things I did were wrong. The first time I left school I had just, oh I don't know, turned into a giant dog, and the second time-well what did you want me to do? Kill her?" I took a deep breath to calm down.

"See, I don't exactly have the temper control of Sethy here, yet." I snarled sarcastically and nodded to him. He looked up at me with surprise from his end seat on the floral patterned couch. I continued, "Everything I did, had a reason and okay, maybe the 'going to hell' comment I made towards my principal wasn't exactly necessary but still, I slipped up, big whoop."

"No one expects you to have control over you're anger and phasing yet, Dicey," Sam spoke up.

Oh, great. This time it was our high and mighty Alpha deciding to show off for the old bones beside him. He gave me a look that said he could almost tell what I was thinking but I just glowered at him and crossed my trembling arms over my chest.

He scratched at his upper arm and continued. "But you've had no reason to get angry, so throwing temper tantrums because you were irritated wasn't the way to go, especially when you let them get out of hand."

"Wow, Sam," I sneered. "I don't even know which question I want to start with," I laughed hollowly. "Either the part where I argue that you just gave a bullshit assumption at how I threw a 'temper tantrum', the part where I let things get out of hand—I mean what the hell, things were fine— or maybe I could commence with the part where you said I had no reason to do the things I did."

"Dicey, there is no need for cursing," Sue spoke up from the corner by Seth.

I tried not to smile; what a mom. I rolled my eyes instead and challenged Sam by jutting my chin out in a 'go ahead and tell me you jackass; kind of manner. I could hear Sam controlling his own temper and keep the tremors out of his voice when he answered me.

"You can't say it wasn't a temper tantrum," he growled. "Stop being bullheaded and admit it, you're pretty good at throwing fits lately."

"What the-" I started angrily, but he cut me off again. This time though, he used _the voice_ so I couldn't do anything about it. Power abuser.

"_**Enough, stop talking.**_" he rumbled. I closed my mouth but only because I had to. "You need to realize not just you're place in this community or this family but this _pack._ You've been spoiled your whole life and now you've got to face it that you need to listen, you _aren't in charge._"

If I was able to speak I would've told him that no obviously he was the one in charge, the damned ego maniac. But I couldn't so I just had to hope he caught the drift by the way I was looking at him. And still he went on.

"You let things get out of hand by almost breaking Cassia Holland's wrist when you jerked her up onto the school's tables," he said. "Yeah, don't look so shocked. Paul got a call earlier about a bill for her x-rays, you're lucky its only a sprain or you could've gone to court! The Hollands are those kind of people, that they'd do exactly that and you know it Dicey Tamari."

I had sprained her wrist? Oops. I hadn't thought I'd grabbed a hold of her all that hard. Damn, I didn't know my own strength. Another con in the werewolf tally, I suppose.

"What would even inspire you to do such a stupid thing?" he asked me as if I could've answered him yet. As if realizing the predicament, he flushed, he always said he hated the Alpha asshole-ness but he seemed to use it a lot.. "You can talk now."

Oh great, I was released from his evil hold. I rolled my eyes at my own comment.

"What if I don't want to talk?" my voice was hoarse.

My anger was so bad I was actually calm. It was like one of those 'calm before the storm' type moments you hear people talk about when they refer to hurricanes or something. I didn't think I could get much more irate, that was until I heard the next sentence.

"Then that'd be both a first and a miracle," Seth drawled.

Spinning around, I was shaking all over, ready to phase and scream. Why the hell was he even here? He had nothing to do with this (yeah, that's it, lie to yourself, Dice). I clenched and unclenched my hands at my sides, breathing out hard through my nose.

"This is all _your_ fault," I spat. "So I don't think it'd be such a smart move for you to talk now Sethy-poo. I bet this was what you wanted anyways, me to get in trouble since I hurt your poor wittle girlfriend"

I froze in my taunting when a thought struck me. And at that moment I would've given everything I had for myself not to have done that. I really wish it hadn't 'cause it wasn't helping the situation very much. I sneered, "That's what you wanted to tell me in the woods, wasn't it? Well guess what, I don't give a fu-"

"Dicey, shut up!" he hissed, angry as well. "My God, get over yourself."

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was surprised the elders weren't interfering. They were only looking back and forth between us as if waiting for the explanation to just spill out of my mouth.

"Get over my-? Hah, you're an idiot," I snorted. "Seth Clearwater, you seem like you can't stand me being a little selfish which by the way I'm not, yet you're dating the most infuriating, self-centered, bitchy, preppy, chick in the _whole school?"_ Despicable.

"Right now that'd be you, Dice," Jacob piped up from where he was leaning against the kitchen doorjamb. "Well minus the preppy part."

"Jacob!" Quil, Sue, Billy, Sam, Seth and I all yelled.

He lifted his hands in surrender and grabbed his glass of ice tea before making his way attentively to his room. Well, that's where I assumed he was going. And if you think that's bad, well that was just the beginning. It got a lot uglier after that.

By now Seth and I were both standing up and glaring at each other. Honesty, it really hurt to glare at him like that. Usually he was always by my side and I at his no matter what. I could tell that neither of us liked being on opposing teams here. Not that you could call it teams, it was more like all of fucking La Push against me.

"Just tell me," his voice was steading like he was trying to calm down even though he was shaking. "Did you...imprint on...me?"

What? Why was he asking me about that? That was all a little...out of left field, wasn't it? I couldn't even begin to understand why he was asking me that. But all of a sudden I was being made to look into his eyes, one hand under my chin his other one a vice around my wrist. Everything too much like old times and too different all at once.

"Answer me, Dice," his voice was low and held a warning in it. "Did you imprint on me?"

He was speaking slowly and it made me feel like a child, one not understanding a situation. But I understood all right. And I knew the circumstances of my answer. I gulped and dangerously brought my gaze to meet his.

"No."


	9. taking me to places i didnt want to go

"No?" Seth raised his eyebrows. "No, you didn't imprint on me, or no you won't answer the question?"

His words sounded hopeful when he got to the second part. His anger was forgotten then and so was mine; both of us had been enveloped with completely new emotions. For him it was seriousness complete hoping. His eyes were wide and he'd grabbed ahold of me once again.

The only thing I could feel was the nervousness from him being so close, and from answering his question. We both knew I'd lied to him, we'd both known that I actually meant no I hadn't imprinted on him, even though clearly I had. He was giving me a chance to get out of this lie, and maybe something else too, something for him but I didn't get it.

"What if I said the second?" I said finally, deciding to explore my options while I could."Then I'd tell you to get your foot out of your giant ass mouth and get to answering it," he teased.

He tried to laugh, I think, to make things seem easier. On who, I wasn't sure, but it didn't matter because his attempt fell flat. I pulled away from his grasp and sighed. We were both still standing even though our rigid posture had gone slack But everyone else in the room still sitting as relaxed as possible.

"What would it matter if I'd said yes?" I wondered at him. "yes, I'd imprinted on you. Or if I'd meant no? Either way, would be a difference?"

He started to turn away but quickly spun around, taking my arm and pulling me through the kitchen and outside, quickly lugging me into the Black's garage. The fluorescent lights twitched overhead and the air smelled like gasoline. I was surprised to hear that the radio wasn't playing the oldies that frequently could be heard around Jacob. He'd dropped all things musical and even though he wouldn't admit it, we all knew it had to do with Bella Swan. But even now, when she wasn't around to complain about it, he still hadn't turned on a radio.

It was awkward for a moment while we both just stood there, not saying anything and then he pulled up an old chair and swept his arm towards me. He seated himself on the cement floor.

"So I guess chivalry really isn't dead," I smiled shakily, trying to joke around.

"Yeah, he but his middle name is Jesus so he's known to come back now and again," Seth quipped back at me.

And then he was up and out of his chair, quickly hugging me. I leaned into him and felt all that was there, all those years of friendship. How much I missed it. It was poignant to think that this wouldn't be here much longer and we both knew it. This was going to be one of our last encounters where things would be as much like they used to be for a very long time.

After we pulled apart, he returned to his seat beside me. I was grateful for that since I wouldn't have to look directly at him, making things so much easier in my playing field.

"Now, tell me, Dice, did you or did you not...you know...im-imprint?" he shifted around on the floor, coughing out the last word.

"Tell me Seth, would it really make a difference?" I retorted, keeping my face impassive."Dammit, Dicey," he clenched a fist on his thigh. "Can't you just answer the question? Please."

He was begging then and I had to take a moment to regather my thoughts. I hadn't heard him beg since, well, since he wanted me to stop tickling him to death when we were fourteen. To hear that tone of his voice...

"Well, you're doing a great job of not answering any of mine," I let the slightest of pleading tones into my voice as well, desperation is truth, they say.

I was turned sideways, facing him now. There was a desperate mugginess clinging to the small space between us then, almost thick enough that we could cut it with a spork. We both wanted something and the other was unwilling to give it.

"Yes," he conceded softly. "It would make a world of difference,"

"How Seth?" I demanded, leaning towards him in a fit of anger. "If I said yes the only thing that would happen is you would do what Sam did to your sister."

I saw him flinch and knew I'd hit a nerve that I hadn't even meant to touch. But whether I'd meant to or not, it was true and it was the thing that scared me the most. Ending up like Leah.

I searched his face as I continued. "Sam isn't even in her life as a friend anymore and...and you have Cassia." I saw his face go almost disbelieving when I said that but he quickly gained him composure. "You imprinted on _her._ Don't you think that would make things just a _bit_ complicated? Besides, if I said no…" I trailed off. What if I said no? What did that mean? "If I said no...then...I-you-we—,"

Just like that, I was stuttering. Horrified by the gibberish that was coming out of my mouth, I cast around quickly for something to say, something to make up. But it turned out I didn't need to because the moment was quickly interrupted by Jared running loosely through the garage door.

"Yo, Seth! Oh, hey Dicey," he nodded at me and smiled. "Yeah, Seth we gotta go man, there's that redheaded leech just south or so of the cliffs, right by the Cullen's line. We need all of us chasing her, so get your furry ass out here."

He winked and grinned and then ran away, excited at the possibility of killing the bloodsucker.

Boys will be boys.

"Alright!" Seth jumped up excitedly and then turned to me. "Oh man, we got-" he stopped. "You're staying here."

What the hell? Did he just say what I thought he'd said? There was no way I was staying here when they rest of the pack was out there hunting down a leech! Was he insane?

"No, I'm not! Besides we..." I trailed off.

Obviously, I was right, my answer to his earlier questions, well question, didn't matter because it seemed like he'd forgotten completely about our conversation that had been interrupted just seconds ago. He ran a hand through his shaggy hair and breathed out through his nose.

"I don't have time to argue this with you," he shook his head and turned away. "You're not going and that's final."

"Oh Aye, Aye Captain." I snorted sarcastically. "Psh no, and why the hell not?" I tried to run up to him but his damn legs were longer and I had to jog to match his stride.

He gave me a look that told me all I needed to know and I rolled my eyes at him. He picked up his pace, heading towards the edge of the forest. I grunted, grumbling obscenities under my breath, and picked up mine as well.

"I could take _your_ place Seth," I suggested slyly. "You have school tomorrow, I'm suspended remember, I don't have to be up and at 'em early in the a.m. that means _I'm_ in."

I automatically puffed out my chest and tilted my chin upwards. It would be my first vampire kill. Something that would really make me part of the pack. Plus, it was the first hella good argument I could come up with all night.

"Dicey, go home," Paul told me. "We don't need you tonight."

Seth got a triumphant look on his face as Paul grabbed my arm and turned me in the direction that would lead back to our house. Incredulous, I looked up at him over my shoulder, not understanding.

"What?" I commanded. "Why?"

"Because you just phased," Paul pointed out. "And this chick is dangerous, or so the vegetarian ticks say, and we don't need your thoughts clouding up ours because you can't keep them controlled."

He didn't say this in a mean or even a harsh tone and I realized that he was just trying to give me answers and for that I was sort of grateful. But still it was one vampire; how dangerous could she be? Seven of the Cullen's and ten werewolves (eleven if you included me) couldn't take out her out? Come on. The chick wasn't _that_ tough.

She wasn't The Matrix for Christ sake.

"Seriously Dice, just get some sleep, go home," Paul cajoled. "We can handle it. Oh, and hey, how'd the meeting go?"

I saw Seth give a quick wave—a sharp jerk of his wrist—towards me and the look on his face showed me he remembered that he hadn't gotten an answer and was perturbed about it, but Paul was still there with a vice on my bicep.

"It was-" I started but was cut off by Sam howling.

Paul dropped my arm like it was covered in vamp venom and glanced in the direction the howl had come from, anticipation building in his features.

"Great to hear it kid," he winked at me.

. What the hell? I hadn't even answered him. There was nothing 'great to hear'. I rolled my eyes.

"Go to hell," I muttered under my breath too low even he couldn't hear it with his super wolf-y senses. Not that he'd have noticed anyways.

I was half tempted to phase and spy on them anyways but I knew that they were, unfortunately, right. I _couldn't_ keep my thoughts under control which in turn caused a whole other ball park full of problems for me. Damn.

…

As soon as I got to the house I dropped down on our felt, green couch when I decided that going up the stairs would just be a loosing battle and I'd done enough of that tonight. Loosing, that is. I grabbed an old quilt my mom had made once before she realized she was no Holly Homemaker, and cuddled into it. How much I wished she was here, not that it could've helped in the first place. Would I be allowed to tell her? Did she even know the truth about any of this? Probably not.

What killed me the most was that she wasn't dead or, well, not that I knew of. She just… _she just left._ With a note, she left her son and daughter, alone and abandoned. With no explanation.

_Paul and Dicey,_

_We understand you're probably confused, and don't know what's going on. Why we're gone._

_And I hate to say that I can't ever promise you that you will. But just know that no matter what, we love you and always have. We're trying to do what's for the best for you two. Paul: there's an account already with your name on it, along with mine and Dad's. It has enough for you guys to get buy as long as you need to and some extra. I trust you'll do the right thing. Dicey: Sweetie, be good for your brother, don't make things difficult for him, be the good girl I know you are. My happy little princess._

_Love,_

_Mom._

Could she get anymore cheesier? Not only had it made no sense, I quite clearly remember Paul telling me that she called a month later to report that she—they—were still okay.

"Come on Mom," I remember hearing him say. "You guys can go ahead and piss on our faces, but don't try and call it rain."

He'd hung up after that, slamming the phone down with a bit too much force. It was just a good thing he hadn't been a wolf, or he could have broken it. Not that it mattered. That was the only call we _**ever **_got.

I didn't even know if they were okay, alive even. And Paul was stuck with some bratty teenage sister who he now had full responsibility for. He missed out on a lot because of me, but he missed out on a lot more because of the shape shifting business. I don't think he minded so much necessarily but it still didn't make me feel any less guilty.

I pushed thoughts of my parents, Paul, and Seth away from my mind as much as I could because the only thing thoughts like that did was give me a headache and I couldn't take aspirin. My body temperature burned it off in almost seconds. My thoughts were cloudy anyway, like trying to see with mud in my eyes. I couldn't concentrate so I did the only thing I could, something I'd done way too much of in the past couple of days and, believe me, I hated myself for it.

Everyone made it seem like I was being a baby and hell, maybe I was. But if crying was the only way to keep me from exploding in my living room, turning it into a destruction path for a giant she-wolf, then so be it. I let them leak from my eyes slowly and almost completely subtle.

_**Tomorrow, **_I promised myself. _**Tomorrow I'll gain back every ounce of my pride, every strand of dignity I've lost because I've been feeding it to the demons of La Push.**_


	10. I'd follow you into the dark

My God I never thought I'd be happy to go back to the hell hole we all frequently call high school. Well, almost happy. But damn, I was.

The next few days of my suspension dragged on and on, like they were never ending. I was asleep most of the time and I'm pretty sure I only showered once. Those few days were cloudy but they seemed like a lifetime.

I woke up early on the day of my return, probably because I'd been asleep since four p.m. the evening before, and got ready. I was in the mood to actually try, I guess, but I didn't have much energy so I just decided to put my hair in two braids and throw on my favorite dark low rise jeans and purple racing jersey. My black biking boots fit nicely with the ensemble and finished it off. Purple always made the green in my eyes stand out. Or so I'd been told.

Today was the day everything was going to be okay. At least, that's what I was going for. The day I was going to stay almost invisible when it came to the "how are you's?" and the "Are you okay's?" I mean, how is someone even supposed to answer that? Lucky for me, Kim was one of my good friends, and Ms. Worry Wart herself was the first to greet me.

I heard a tapping on my bedroom door right as I was grabbing my bag and getting ready to leave for the downstairs myself. I saw her open my door just a crack and peek her head in.

"Can I come in?" she asked tentatively.

I shrugged—why not? It couldn't do any harm—and waved my arm out for her in a 'come in' type of gesture. I laughed slightly. "_Mi casa es_...yeah, sure."

She gave me a pitying look, and sat down on my bed. I gritted my teeth together in an attempt to keep myself from yelling at her about the look. I didn't need her pity. I didn't need _anyone's_ pity. I was fine. But judging by the firm set of her chin, she wasn't going to leave until she got a satisfying answer.

"How are you?" she asked.

Damn, I should've put money on these moments. I looked down at myself trying to figure out a way to answer her without lying, trying to find my loophole. I slid a hand down the front of my shirt to straighten it before looking back at her.

_Dying,_ I thought. I said, "Fine. Never been better."

My answer was, in theory, true enough. I wasn't in any physical damage. In fact, all the damage was internal and if I was lucky, never seen by anyone else.

"Dicey, if you aren't you know you can always-" she started.

I cut her off, maybe more harshly than I needed too but I didn't want her pity, "Kim, seriously. I'm fine," then, in a nicer voice, "come on, we'll be late."

I smiled and grabbed her hand, pulling her out of my room playfully. By the time we were down the stairs and Jared was in view, it was easy to see any worries she'd had were forgotten. Jared's face lit up when Kim reappeared and he strode swiftly towards her. He placed his arm around her lower back and swooped her around. You could hear her laugh gleefully despite her protest of "Jared, stop!" and "Put me down!" It was really something to watch; unlike with Sam and Emily you didn't always want to look away from the intensity of their goo-goo eyes.

"Hey, lovebirds, break it up," Quil laughed and then jingled a set of keys. Keys that belonged to Jared. "We've got to go, unless, that is, you want me to drive, Jar-bear.." Jared whirled and snatched the keys dangling from Quil's finger. "There is no way in hell I am _ever_ letting you drive my van."

"Everybody lets go!" Paul bellowed at whoever else was still standing bunched together in our kitchen and entryway.

We all piled glumly out of the house and trekked towards where Jared had parked his van...nearly sideways in our driveway. I shot him an unimpressed look and he beamed at me innocently. I rolled my eyes and turned away, hitching my bag higher up over my shoulders.

"Guys, I'm not going today," Jake was breathless after pulling up on his motorcycle, stopping it directly in front of the van.

"What? Why?" Embry looked concerned.

Of couse, we all pretty much knew what Jake was planning to do and that itself would've made anyone worried. But I just didn't understand why. _Why_ he was doing what he was doing.

"I'm going to Forks," Jacob met all of our eyes, surprisingly as if he had nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of. it's a good thing he was on a motercycle because that kids pride couldn't fit in a hard top. "Cullen and I have some things to discuss."

He spat out the name like it was vamp venom itself and started to rev his engine, preparing to leave. Before he could do that though, Leah tried to get through to him. Personally, I wouldn't have bothered, but hey, that's just me.

"You're going to see_ her_ aren't you?" Leah was nearly hissing. "Jake! She's only going to screw you over! Just let her go be with the stupid leech and give it a rest!" She was livid, and she was on a roll. "She obviously chose Washington's other monster so find someone who wants to be with you." I couldn't tell if there was hinting of herself there but I doubted it. She just knew all to well what he was going through.

"Yeah, Leah?" Jake raised a single, nearly calm, eyebrow at her. "Well, as soon as you take your own advice and let go of Sam then I'll do the same."

And he was off. I followed his retreating figure with my eyes, brow furrowing slightly. He hadn't even said it with an edge. He'd spoken like he said those words all the time, as if he didn't know that they'd hurt her. He must seriously love this Bella chick because that was a low blow.

Leah stood there speechless and none of us went to comfort her because we knew she'd just shrug it off. Looking at us, she just rolled her eyes and tried to play it cool, sliding her hands into her short pockets.

"Whatever, I need to run. I'll see you guys later? At Emily's?" she already knew the answer so before we could respond she was off.

I always used to wonder why she still got up at the ass crack of dawn every morning and came over here. I mean, Seth is a big boy, he doesn't need his big sister walking him over here. Then I realized that there were a few reasons. Reasons she would never admit to, of course. This was the only place where she could hang out with us, her family, without Sam and Emily being there as a constant reminder of her harpings. This was a place where she could be with us without us hearing her thoughts, this was were she could truly be herself again, the Leah she used to be. Come to think of it, she was always bearable—even for the guys—in the mornings. I was coming to find that I had a lot in common with my imprint sister.

We all just kind of stared after them both for a few moments, wondering what in the hell all of that was about. I scratched at the back of my neck and shifted from foot to foot, waiting for someone to speak up.

"So… are we all ready?" Jared asked, enticing us all to snap back to reality. A chorus of "Yeah's" rang throughout the small crowd and we squeezed into Jared's van.

There were already some people waiting inside, mainly the non-wolves of our group, the imprints. I smiled at them as I climbed in and took a seat in the back, sliding my bag into my lap to give us all more room.

"Hey Dicey, you ready for the shock of your life?" Hillary, who was sitting in the middle seats, turned around and asked.

A wide grin bloomed to life on her face as she raised her eyebrows at my confused expression. Jeez, I left school for, what? Three days and this is what happens? Huh. Remind me to never get suspended again."Shock of my life?" I repeated.

I heard chuckles from all around except for Paul who just shook his head. Oh great, now I _really_ wanted to know. And it really couldn't be all that good if the rest of them were laughing. Whenever they laughed and there was some sort of surprise you could bet it wasn't good.

"Yep," Maria took her tongue out of Brady's mouth long enough to answer me. "things are going to be weird for you today, Dicey dear."

Everyone was looking at each other and the only thing I could think was _what the hell?_ Nobody would tell me what was going on all I got was a "you'll just have to wait and see." from Quil whenever I kept badgering. Seriously people, you can't just ask me a question like that and then let it go. Not cool.

Needless to say by the time we arrived in the small student and staff parking lot I was wary. I looked hesitantly at the building and my friends just laughed and told me to come on. It didn't take very long however to figure out what they'd been talking about.

"Hey, Dicey," a guy—one of Jonathans friends, I think—nodded at me and winked suggestively. Gross.

"Dicey, sit with us at lunch?" some of Cassia's right hand women asked me."Um, sorry but no," was my response.

Alright, this was weird; everyone was either nodding and waving at me, or trying to start conversations like we'd been BFF's since birth. By my seventh period class I was dodging people I didn't even know—which, I'll have you know, is hard to do in a school as small as ours—and practically playing Mission Impossible to get to my classrooms.

"Oh, for the love of—" I stopped dead in my tracks when I reached the door of my English class.

Jonathan and Seth had their heads together and Seth was shaking. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that his tremors had to do with the smirk that was decorating Jon's face. I rolled my eyes internally as I pushed open the door and strode inside, making a beeline straight for Seth and Jonathan.

_Dun, dun, dun, _I thought, _Dicey to the rescue. _Well, I hoped, anyway.

"Hey guys," I chirped as I stopped before them.

I let the confusion I was feeling out onto my face, striving to send telepathic messages to Seth. The message being obviously, _what the hell?_ He used to be pretty good at picking up my signals but now his head could have been made with four tons of concrete. Basically, my message was just bouncing back and slapping me in the face."Uhm..." I glanced around the room quickly, trying to grasp onto something that might break the attention of the asshat tormenting Seth a.k.a Jon, so he would stop leering in my best friends...er ex-best friends...er well, Clearwater's, general direction. But apparently, that was a futile attempt on my part because Seth broke the silence pretty quickly.

"One more word, Jon, I dare you," Seth's voice was low and threatening but Jon didn't seem to notice it.

"Or what?" Jonathan sneered. "You'll get your pill head buddies to beat my ass?" I snorted but quickly turned it into a cough. Really? The steroids rumor again? Get some new material, fucktard. Both boys, however, didn't even seem to hear me.

"Or maybe," Jonathan continued, sick delight on his face. "you'll go home and whine about it to the elders. 'Some mean boy at school today was making fun of my dead daddy, boohoo.'"

I froze, hands curling into tight fists at my sides. Oh, _hell _no. I slammed my hands down onto the desk and leaned into Jonathan's face, almost snarling. "That's what this is about?"

"Now, you gotta hear the whole story before you get all feisty like that, even if it is sexy," he grinned and reached out, running his hand up my thigh.

I slid my own hand down until it met with his and I squeezed his fingers until I saw him wince and remove the offending appendage, then waited as patiently as possible for him to continue. Which, unfortunately, he did.

"Clearwater and I were sitting here discussing our group project since the three of us are together," he nodded towards the PROJECTS DUE NEXT MONDAY sign on the board. I flicked the briefest of less than interested looks at the board before returning my attention to the asshole grinning at me.

"And?" I asked, grabbing ahold of Seth's hand under the desk trying to calm his anger, even though I should've just let him phase and kill the asshole right then and there. I probably would've if I had known what he was going to say.

"And," he drawled out, "He suggested that we do a report on the things that the tribal elders do for us," I still didn't see a downside to this. "Meaning he wanted to just go up and talk about how great his Daddy was and blah blah blah, until it was a sob story. Like anyone really cares."

I saw Seth's eyes flash and knew what was coming. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him up, urgently pulling him out of the classroom. Faintly I could hear desks and chairs falling over because neither or us were watching where we were going. He was going to snap any second.

We reached the hallway and I shoved him against the locker, instantly in his face. Something that could've been very dangerous but it was just an instinct.

"Shhh, shh," I hushed, our faces were inches apart, my hands on both of his cheeks, still pressing him against the metal. Sweat beads were forming on his forehead. "Seth, its okay," frantic whispers from myself to him. "Seth!" we were both breathing heavily and he gripped my elbows. "See? It's okay, you're fine."

I made him look at me and he let me do so willingly. He needed to be assured, needed to know that someone was here for him and that Jon was just an ass. Which is exactly what I told him. Because, hell, we all knew it was true.

"Jon's just being a douche, okay?" I informed him softly. "Don't listen to him." We stood in silence after that, still locked together. If there were other people in the hallway, I wouldn't have known it, that's how focused on Seth I was.

"Why do you like him?" his voice was hoarse when he finally spoke.

"What?" the question startled me and I answered quickly and honestly. "I don't."

It was sort of a _duh_ question. I couldn't believe that Seth of all people would believe that. What was there to like about Jonathan? Absolutely nothing. Nada.

"That's not what he said," he grumbled.

I laughed in spite myself at this. "Best friend, I think we've established that anything coming out of that boys mouth is worthless."

I leaned forward and rested my head on his shoulder, he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. It's moments like these when you think things are perfect, and finally okay that they go wrong. And not wanting to break tradition, Seth pushed me away and took off into a dead sprint down the short corridor towards the doors leading to the woods.

"_Shit_, Seth," I whined, looking back and forth between his retreating figure and the classroom where fourteen sets of eyes tried to peer out the window in the door. Damn lemmings had been watching us.

Taking a long inhale of breath I made my decision. Go find Seth, the kid who'd always been there for me, the one who needed my help. Or...go back to class like a good little girl and not have to face the same thing I had the other night with the elders. It seemed like a no brainer right? Wrong.

Go after Seth, the guy who just shoved me away, the one who forgot about something as important as _imprinting_ for God's sake. Or...go back to class where I'd have to take the chances of killing Jon, and explaining the chaos that just occurred to everyone. Yeah, there's wasn't much competition.

"Seth!" I screamed uselessly, for he was already gone, as I dashed after him.

With one last glance back, I flipped out my middle finger towards the eyes of my fellow classmates.


	11. AN: update!

**Everyone, attention! (: So it's been a long, long time since I've written for Dicey but good news! I'm working on another chapter! However I'm having problems getting stuck since it's been so long since I've written for her- So, I will be taking **_**suggestions**_** from fans on what they'd like to see.(: Leave them as reviews or send me a private message, either would be fine. Whoever's I choose will have their name mentioned in this story as well. Thanks so much guys! **

**Peas out, Carrots too!**

**Cait,**


	12. Abusing you, my little decoy

Jonathon was worthless. That much I knew; hell, that much everyone knew. To have the nerve to say those things to Seth, about his father nonetheless, was enough nerve to get him decapitated by Leah if she'd have the fortune of finding out. Seth was more calm tempered than that or maybe he wouldn't have been if I hadn't pulled him out of the testosterone fueled classroom.

I hoped that the Elders would see it my way before incorporating any punishment on me for leaving school, yet again, this time on my first day back. Thanks to my anger I would probably suffer more than a short suspension, meaning Paul would be furious. Well...furious_-er. _

But this was different than before. Setting aside my "more than friendship" feelings for Seth, I had to help him. This was the kid who I'd grown up with, the kid who never did anything to hurt another person, the kid who was always happy-go-lucky. The kid who had just had to re-live losing his father and becoming a werewolf all in the same breath. Damn, Jonathon and his over-sized head.

"Seth!" I called, searching for him. How was it possible he could run that fast? I was two seconds behind him and now he was nowhere to be seen. "Seth, he's stupid, let it go! There's no reason to-"

My words were cut off by the view of a gray wolf almost interlocked with a burly vampire down in the bed of the creak, the treaty line. The worst part, was that both the pack and the Leech's family were on either sides watching. I knew just from seeing the wolf that it was Paul, and I knew from what I'd heard of the Cullen's that this one was Emmett. Their tempers were close to the same, rumor had it, and the sight before me didn't look pretty.

"Emmett!" The tall blonde one slowly put his hand out, "That's enough! He is our ally!"

The rest of the leeches were growling protectively except for a young woman with caramel colored hair standing behind the man who had spoken before. Our wolves were up on their haunches as well, all besides Seth who was standing almost shielding-ly in front of the Cullens.

"What's going on here?" I demanded stonily.

A stupid mistake on my part, for anything could have happened at that moment with me in human form and a pack of bloodthirsty mortal enemies twenty feet away. But Paul was my brother and I would be as damned as they were before I let some pumped up vampire take him away from me.

Next thing I knew two things happened that could have started a war. Paul dropped to his belly whining, an obvious sign that Sam had given him a choke demand, which was kind of a stupid idea in my opinion because it left Paul defenseless. The second was seven pairs of vampire eyes landed on me, and they seemed to be angry with me for getting in the way of whatever it was they were doing. Something I didn't quite understand; I mean I was saving their precious little—well, huge—family.

Two seconds later I got it, but not before I fell to the ground unconscious, drifting to sleep with only the thick, tangible taste of sweetness going into my nostrils. It was a horrible smell and it burned my throat when I tried to inhale past it. The sight of bright red hair flashing through the trees while everyone I knew rushed to my side was the last thing I could remember seeing. And then I burned.

The burning was enveloping. Starting in the middle of my abdomen and working its way up my throat, the world was spinning but in a different way than when I shifted. I felt nauseous.

"Get her to Sam's!" I heard someone yell. I didn't care who; there was just so much pain.

"Leah! Get Collin and Brady _now_!" That was a deeper voice, older.

"Don't touch her! Don't touch her; I've got her!" Seth.

But it was Paul's arms I felt around me, lifting me up. He growled, low in his throat. "Watch it kid. This is your fault."

And then we were flying and I was gone.

I'm not sure how long I was out but I awoke to what could have been the opening scene for a horror movie. I opened my eyes to see Brady, Collin,

Jacob, and Quil standing over me. Seth was, of all things, tied to a chair in the corner.

"Uhm, hi." The voice I heard was much scratchier than my own but I knew it was mine. The taste of pepper polluted my mouth and I grimaced, causing all of the boys-except Seth- to laugh.

"Way to go hot shot!" Collin whooped.

"Yeah," Brady concluded with that smirk that I'd wanted to smack off his face multiple times. He was just lucky that Maria was my best friend. "How does it feel to be part leech?"

Jacob and Quil hooted with laughter. I gave them a death glare—stupid boys—just the door opened and in stepped someone I had not been expecting to see.

"Well Dicey, I can assure you, you're not part anything except wolf." Dr. Carlisle Cullen walked into the room, making all of the boys faces go straight, a fact that I was all grateful for. He smiled and nodded his head towards me. "The venom injected in your body was little enough to be burnt off with your body temperature, Victoria hadn't intended to kill you, it seems."

"Whoa, to kill me? Venom? She.. the redheaded bitch bit me?" I stammered, anger bubbling to the surface. I sat up fast, and my head began to spin once again. "And what do you mean 'Victoria'" I seethed, lifting a hand to my temple. "You know her? Was this some plot to—were you in on this—well, you stupid—!"

I struggled to get free from the four boys now on top of me, ready to attack the Doc who just stood there calmly, which pissed me off more than anything else. How could he be so calm about these things? I'd rip his pretty blonde head off!

"Dicey, _stop_." Seth said with force from the chair. "And I swear to all that is holy if you guys do not untie me there will be nothing 'holy' about what I will do to you."

He growled deep in his throat, making the Leech chuckle. Jacob and Quil rolled their eyes but Jake reluctantly moved over behind Seth and untied him, ducking when he took a half-heated swing at his head.

"That's better," Seth scowled briefly at his packmates before smiling at Cullen.

"Well, I think my work is done here," The doctor gave a polite smile despite my livid glare. "Dicey, feel better."

And just like that he was gone. I scowled at the doorway, arms folded tightly across my chest, and huffed. Seth watched me for a moment before shoving his hands into his pockets and smiling with amusement.

"You know you really should be more grateful to him," He scolded me kindly before turning to look at the others "A minute, guys?"

Understanding, they left. Surprising, I know, but they weren't always jerks. It was the only reason I put up with them.

"Dicey..." He smiled and pushed my hair behind my ear, leaving his hand cupping my face. He laughed. "Why do you have to be so stupid all the time?"

Say what? That was _not_ where I thought he was going with this. "Excuse me, I am not stupid!" I laughed, against my will, along with him. A chorus of guffaws and "yes you are" came along from the other room before everyone quit abruptly. Huh. I never thought Sam's inherited bossiness would come in handy.

"You really are," Seth whispered before leaning down and resting his forehead on mine. "You could have been killed." Suddenly somber. "When she bit you...All I could think about was how I shouldn't have let you follow me, I should have known you could have gotten hurt and would have if it wasn't for Carlisle, who you owe an apology to...It was my fault."

"Seth, there is no way you can blame this on yourself; if it's anyone's fault it's Jon's. He—," I started to continue but was cut off by something I never thought I'd hear in the same home vicinity as myself.

"Did I hear my name?" Jonathon smirked as he stepped into the doorway, out of the rain.

Following closely behind him was Leah and she looked like a puppy cowering before its angry owner.


End file.
